All of the words said out loud for S03E11 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped.
The Librarian: Hello there. Come in and help yourself to an iced lolly. Just make sure you don't drip it anywhere important. I can't have the Library of Audio Fiction getting damp.
You'll have to excuse all of the gentle fog, I've been using dry ice to try and keep the temperature down so that none of the dramas, books, stories, actual plays and a few other things in here start melting. It has meant that it's not very hot, but it has also had the side effect of making everything look very dramatic. Unfortunately, one of our local political parties seems to think that that makes it a perfect location for their debate, so they're over there, making speeches.
For legal reasons, not the Tory party: General monster noises.
The Librarian: Best to leave them to it.
I've been trying to acclimatise, by listening to shows that might get me in the mood, such as this one about two detectives trying to stop a serial killer, this one about someone avenging his brother, and this one about a radio station in space.
But as well as just trying to get used to the temperature, I've also taken a number of precautions to try and avoid heatstroke or similar. For starters, I've got my big floppy hat with corks on, I'm absolutely lathered in suntan cream, and I've found my classic aviator shades. Now, if only I could actually manage to go outside. Unfortunately I misread a company memo and after the Director caught me skinny dipping in the pet paddling pool, I've been banned from the Library's grounds.
Still, I've at least got my fan in the corner, to keep me feeling cool. You doing okay over there?
Tarquin: "Yay, Librarian, you're the best!"
The Librarian: Thanks Tarquin.
Anyway, because of the heat, I've not really got the energy to carry on with the cataloguing, but I can bring you a few trailers, if that works? Cool.
First, Hand In Glove. Jake Corliss is a 26-year-old "quadruple-A" pitcher trying to get one last shot in the majors. Javy Correa is a 22-year-old catching phenom ready to take baseball by storm. They're both about to meet in the minors for the first time, though, and when they do, they'll find something neither of them ever expected.
[CLIP - Hand In Glove]
F/X - Sound of ballpark fades up.
Javy: Can I hold your arm, right here?
Jake:Hey, look, you can just show me...
Javy: I’m not gonna bite, I just...it’s a lot better if I walk you through it...
Jake: Yeah, but walking through and adjusting my arm are two different things...
Javy: Jake, right?
Javy (chuckling): Quieres ayudarte. I want to help you, and I just gotta move your arm to do it.
Jake: OK, fair. So...go ahead, show me.
F/X - Sound of clothes rustling as JAVY touches JAKE’s arm.
Javy (a little closer, intimate): So mira, you don’t need that kind of twist on your elbow and your shoulder to get it to spin.
Just straighten out your arm...[Beat] and then throw it across your body, not down
F/X - On “across,” more rustling of clothes.
Javy: ...like that. And then just guide it to me, right down the middle...
Jake: And that'll work?
Javy: Eh, Worth a shot. Not like I ever did the same thing with about 5 other pitchers on the World Classic squad.
F/X - Background of ballpark fades down and crossfades.
MUSIC - “sunshower” by Louie Zong plays.
Narrator: This is Hand In Glove. An audio drama about baseball, romance, and everything in between.
MUSIC - "sunshower” by Louie Zong fades out to end.
The Librarian: Then, Veronica. Veronica Fischer lives in Pekin, a small town in middle America. She's your average 20-something (looking) redhead... vampire... madam... who recently adopted the ghost of 8-year-old Rachel Gregory. Now she's on a rollercoaster ride of adventure, magic, mysteries, and pain, with chatroom hitmen, amnesiac graverobbers, racist arsonists, power-hungry lounge suit vampires, horny zombies, and demonic spirits. Even 77-year-old vampires have coming of age stories, sometimes they're just later in life... with monsters and gunfire. Veronica is intended for adults - listener discretion is advised.
[CLIP - Veronica]
The Librarian: And this week's RPG, Tales of Morterra. An actual play podcast in the flat and fantastical world of Morterra From one half of Probably Bad RPG Ideas.
[CLIP - Tales of Morterra]
Scribbles: I’m gonna hold the door, ready to push open with one hand, and gesture the universal sign language of counting down. 3, 2, 1, I push the door open
MUSIC - dramatic music starts
Caius: “Careful back there! Make sure you hit them, not us!”
Emma: (laughing) Saoirse doesn’t know what you’re saying
Caius: That’s true
Mia: There are some random hands left, yes?
Liz: Various limbs
Emma: Limbs, assorted
Liz: Yeah, limbs brackets assorted
Caius: How is just going to slash at this creature and be like “you leave these children alone!”
Scribbles: I’ve got this fluffy samoyed under one arm, a fluffy white cat under the other, and I’m just running back to the library
Caius: “Careful there! They’re a little feisty”
Mia: “Thank you, thank you. I do not know your name”
Caius: “You can call me How”
Mia: “Well thank you How, you can call me whatever you want”
Emma: “Can we talk after the fight?!”
MUSIC - dramatic music stops, theme music starts
Mario: Tales of Morterra, an actual play fifth edition campaign, premiering June 15th, with new episodes releasing fortnightly. Available wherever you get your podcasts, or at morterra.tumblr.com
The Librarian: And finally, Golden Age. The world is on the cusp of a new age, but will it be one of peace and prosperity or will the shadow of darkness spread to engulf what little remains? Three heroes separated by space but joined by destiny, each struggle with their own trials. The freelancer Edge, who must play the role of guide against his will. The assassin Dante, who is more than he appears to be, and the errant knight Mia, who finds herself suddenly in mortal danger. What awaits them is unknown, but they hold within them the promise of a new Golden Age . . .
[CLIP - Golden Age]
The Librarian: And that's that. If you have any tips on how to stay cool, feel free to throw them at our twitter, @AudioDramaDebut.