The Cambridge Geek

Audio Drama Debut - Transcript - S02E29

All of the words said out loud for S02E29 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.

F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped. Fire gently crackles in the background.

THE LIBRARIAN: Hello there.

Quick, shut the door. Did anyone see you come in? Good, good. And you left the fire escape open so you can sneak out? Excellent. No one can know you were here.

Now, did you bring it?

Don't play coy - you know why I'm doing this. Show it to me, or the deal's off.

F/X - The heavy clunk click of a suitcase opening, followed by the Holy choir.

Beautiful.

This is one of the last biscuits like this the world will ever see. I'm impressed you managed to get one. The sprinkles are illegal, you see.

Anyway, you've brought payment, so it's my turn. You want to know how I find new dramas, books, stories, actual plays and a few other things for the Library of Audio Fiction, right?

You're aware how big of a trade secret this is? Once I tell you, it's out there. I'm trusting you not to let people know where you got this information.

I know your plans, comrade, you're going to set up a Library of your own. But I can't defect. I'm going to be here, on enemy territory, deep in this Library. You need to keep the source of this information quiet. My name can never come up.

Here, I've got a little sweetener. Just a few things to take with you to keep you entertained on the long journey.

There's this show, about a secret agent B team, this show about a man mistaken for a Communist spy, and this show, about a cat learning Russian.

Alright, time for the big secret. How I found all of the shows. Now I know we discussed data transfer methods, so I could give you a highly advanced algorithm or similar, but that wouldn't work. I've got to show you in person.

Okay, sit next to me here. Now, listen very carefully, I will say this only once.

First, you open up any Web browser. Then, you type in, and you've got to spell this really carefully - t w i t t e r dot com. Got that? Wait for it to load.

Now, you see at the top here? That's a search bar. This is the clever bit. Type in there, "audio drama". And look, loads of results. And finally, the really clever bit, click that bit there, and it sorts by newest. Now you've got all the new tweets that mention audio drama. It's brilliantly well hidden, isn't it?

How do I sort them all ? Oh well that's the easy bit. You just read every tweet. Yes, all of them.

I mean yes, it does take ages, but there's so much useful information! For instance, did you know that Donald Trump actually won the last US election? I had no idea!

And just to prove it works, I've found four very recent shows for you. Here, I've got their trailers cued up. Just listen to these.

First, Surviving Bastion. After a catastrophe kills almost everyone aboard the space station informally known as Bastion, Alex has to survive long enough for a rescue vessel. But they are only a lowly engineering intern and keeping the station running isn‘t an easy task for the hundred or so crew it usually has. Hopefully, they can find a way to escape the station before something breaks that they aren‘t able to fix.

[CLIP - Surviving Bastion]

THE LIBRARIAN: Then, Airrobbed. When one student is accused of being behind a major theft, it's up to intrepid reporter Aubrey Fisher and guy-who-does-sound-good Steve Jackson to find the truth, at all costs.

[CLIP - Airrobbed]

THE LIBRARIAN: And The Magic of Ordinary Things. How do you go on when the people you love die? If you could see them one more time, what would you say? What would you want to hear? Gina Harris got the chance. An audio drama in seven acts, “The Magic of Ordinary Things” is a musical memoir that tells her story. It is a theatre piece, a dream with original music, a tale that spans 43 years, two parents, a singing teacher, and a lonesome cowboy named Deets.

[CLIP - The Magic of Ordinary Things]

THE LIBRARIAN: And finally The Luchador: 1,000 Fights of El Fuego Fuerte. The mighty Lucha Libre champion of Mexico City does battle in and out of the ring with deadly vampires, dangerous mobsters, and the ethical complications of maintaining a rigid moral philosophy. A biweekly fiction adventure series created by Daniel Valero Fletcher, starring a Latinx lead cast and special guest stars from the real world of professional wrestling.

[CLIP - The Luchador: 1,000 Fights of El Fuego Fuerte]

THE LIBRARIAN: And that's that. Now I know you broke deep cover for this, so you need to flee the country, but if you need to contact me, I made a twitter account, since apparently you can message people on them. Mine's @AudioDramaDebut.

Anyway, cheerio!