All of the words said out loud for S02E17 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped. Fire gently crackles in the background.
THE LIBRARIAN: Hello there! Come in. Grab yourself a cup of hojicha and come look at these.
See, we've been having a few budgetary issues recently, and we've realised we need to raise some money. There may have been a slight overspend of the biscuit fund.
Anyway, because of that, we're selling off some of our dramas, books, stories, actual plays and a few other things.
Already today I've sold off this show about an exiled Princess who is trying to do a heist, this show about a group of outlaws trying to rob a train, and this show about the theft of an entire starship.
So would you be interested in buying one? It all goes to a good cause.
You would? Excellent. If you just wave your Library card over this machine...
F/X - Pleasing ding.
THE LIBRARIAN: Lovely, that'll debit your account accordingly. You are now the official owner of The Despairing Maze. And to make sure that's never forgotten, I'm just going to write it down in this big special book I've got.
F/X - Desperate scribbling.
THE LIBRARIAN: The Despairing Maze...Library patron 14892. Excellent.
Now, if you ever want to listen to your show, you can grab it straight off the shelf and take it into one of the listening stations. Just don't forget to return it afterwards.
No, obviously you have to return it to the shelves.
Well, yes, you do own it, but other people can still borrow it. You just happen to own it... on the shelf in the Library. But trust me, you definitely own it. No one can take it away from you. They can just borrow it, and maybe make copies.
Anyway, while you're in a spending mood, would you like to buy some trailers? I've got four here looking for a good home? No? Well, never mind, I'm sure someone else will buy them. Would you like a listen anyway? You still can, even if you don't actually own them.
First, it's All The Wrong Magic. Rowan Green is the new apprentice to Corin Thorne, the witch who's just arrived in the village. Corin begins sending Rowan on trips in order to teach them magic, but the more Rowan sees, the more they start to wonder about what Corin isn't telling them.
[CLIP - All The Wrong Magic]
THE LIBRARIAN: Then, Excuse the Jess. Meet Jessica. Join her in this new comedy drama podcast from Deliciously Bright Productions. She's not needy or anything but... please, please listen.
[CLIP - Excuse the Jess]
THE LIBRARIAN: And this week's RPG is Rogue Runners, an actual play audio drama podcast that adapts your favorite stories to TTRPGs. Vol. 1: In the Blood parodies HADES and plays it as a 5e D&D game.
[CLIP - Rogue Runners]
THE LIBRARIAN: And finally, The Lydia Landing Lads. Join hosts Hank and Silvio for their live fancast about the hit television show – and Tricenarian Choice Award-nominated dramedy series – The Ladies of Lydia Landing. Episode summaries, clips from the show, expert analysis, and live listener segments, this podcast is the perfect companion for Lydia Landians, greenhorns or veterans. Journey with them as they discover this seemingly innocent, feminine-tinted show has a dark and twisted underbelly.
[CLIP - The Lydia Landing Lads]
THE LIBRARIAN: And that's that. Now, I'll let you be on your way and...
F/X - Big flame whoosh noise.
THE LIBRARIAN: Don't worry, I definitely didn't accidentally drop the big record book in the fire, oh no. One quick question, just testing your memory - what show did you buy again? Just a, just a test. Tell you what, let me know on our Twitter, it's @AudioDramaDebut.
Anyway, cheerio!