All of the words said out loud for S02E11 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped. Fire gently crackles in the background.
THE LIBRARIAN: Hello there! Come in, come in! Please, help yourself to a cup of Hei Cha and take a seat! Look at that, isn't it comfy?
We've received a very large donation from one of our patrons recently, and it's been used to improve the conditions of all of the Library's facilities. I'm not quite sure why they donated the money, but it's possible the Director just got them drunk.
She's got an incredible capacity for alcohol. I've never seen her anything but staggeringly sober, even when she downs her hip flask in my annual appraisals.
The Director didn't really want to give me any of the money, but the letter of donation said "all" facilities, and my office counts, so I wangled a full hundred pounds out of her. Very impressive negotiation on my part. That's a full 0.1%.
Now, admittedly, a hundred pounds wouldn't have bought that chair, but since all of the other Librarians have also upgraded, there's a lot of hand me downs going around. And I'm not too proud enough to accept a very good second hand chair, at least for you visitors.
So where did the money go? Sorry, is that not obvious? Look around you. Well okay, some of it had to go to replacement covers for some of the shows, as they didn't quite follow the current library guidelines. I admit, that is subtle.
We had to recover this show about a self-isolated country ruled by bumbling dictators, this show about how the police pop out to the suburbs, and this show about the control of all expression. We had to give the covers a little tweak to make sure they sat on the shelf the right way round.
But I would have thought it was fairly easy to guess where the rest of the money went. I mean, flags aren't cheap you know, and there's nearly eleven in this office. It costs money to pay a designer, and then get them all made up. That's a good two yards of material in each of those flags. And that's not even beginning to think about the flag poles.
Well obviously I designed it. No one else can properly express the love of audio fiction in flag form so it doesn't exist yet. I mean, do you love audio dramas, books, stories? And can you prove it? Do you have a flag?
Don't have a flag, obviously don't love audio fiction enough. Tell you what though, I could, just possibly, sell you a flag. See me by the bicycle racks later.
But anyway, since you obviously don't love audio fiction properly, I can't give you any full shows. All I can give you for now are these trailers. I've got four I can just about trust you with.
First, Age of Confusion. This is a story podcast documenting the alternate history of the U.S. and the world from 1963 to 1985, in a world where John F. Kennedy survives and the great upheavals of the time take a different path than they did in real life.
[CLIP - Age of Confusion]
THE LIBRARIAN: Then, welcome to Rift 6 Beta employee. Please do not look into the Rift.
[CLIP - Rift 6 Beta]
THE LIBRARIAN: And this week's RPG, Blank City, Nowhere is an actual play anthology series about exploring the dark and storied past of an entire city, one RPG at a time. From paranormal high schoolers to pirate sailing the high seas, from haunted hotels to larger-than-life wrestlers, we'll create and explore a city with rich and engrossing history. Every day is a strange new day in Blank City, and who knows what the citizens will discover next!
[CLIP - Blank City, Nowhere]
THE LIBRARIAN: And finally, Pat's Podcasket. We started this show so that we can council all sorts of monsters and creatures from the Nether Realm. Dealing with humankind is hard. We know. Lucky for all of you, Pat's Podcasket is here for the bad guy! Join us once a month as we dive into the subconcious of the things that go bump in the night!
[CLIP - Pat's Podcasket]
THE LIBRARIAN: And that's that. Feel free to gently caress a flag if you leave. And if you happen to have any ideas for other designs for when I need to do other versions, feel free to share them with our twitter. It's @AudioDramaDebut.