All of the words I said out loud for S01E40 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped. Fire gently crackles in the background.
Hello there. Come in, but do be careful of the water lilies. I know they're everywhere, but they're very fragile, so put in the extra effort on your way to the chocolate fudge cake, will you?
It's slightly embarrassing really. See, the Director sent this memo round earlier in the week, that asked us to try and monet-ise the Library, and so I went straight out to the garden centre and put together this display. It's rather impressive, if I do say so myself.
And yes, I am now aware that that is not what she meant.
I'd thought it a little strange, but I've questioned the Director's orders before and it didn't end well. Best just to do what she says now.
So after that first fiasco, I shifted to her concerns about money. There are a few different routes she wants me to investigate. The first one is paywalling, but if you want me to tell you about that, you'll have to give me a quid. No? Alright then. Be like that.
Then there's advertising. I've got this bit of paper I need to read at anybody who comes through the door. Hang on.
F/X - Paper rustling.
Want to express your rage at an uncaring universe, but worried about damaging your throat? Then subscribe to Bellow Fresh! For a very low fee, every month they send you a box filled with bellows, shouts, hollers, horrid screams and a few other things. It's perfect for politics podcasters! Use the discount code Director for ten percent off your first order. Should that be Librarian? Do I get the money if it's Librarian? Use the discount code Librarian? Might work?
And then finally we've been trying to get something called patróns. I think the idea might be that we get all of our visitors drunk on tequila and high on cocaine and then they give us all their money. Seems a bit morally dubious to me.
But it's her demand, so I'm just going along with it. while listening to a few shows to take my mind off it. There's this one, about people trying to steal the internet, this one about a princess trying to get back her family's fortunes and this one about breaking into a celestial vault.
Tell you what though, if you're a bit short of reddies this week, I have got some trailers I can play you. You know what they say, the first hit's always free.
First up, it's Ray Can't Sleep, a collection of audio notes from the field recorder of...it's says...my friend and bandmate Ray, who realized one day he hadn't slept in a month. Broke, jobless, and without healthcare, he decides to record his day to day, and I edit it all together into a podcast in hopes that one day we'll find out why Ray Can't Sleep.
[CLIP - Ray Can't Sleep]
Then Good Morning from Radio6. Giles Philips works for a local radio station, and he's just about to start his new breakfast show about ghosts. What could possibly go wrong...? Coming to you live right out of the little Welsh town of Aberystwyth, join Giles Philips, as he tells you the spooky tales of Wales, and does some ghosthunting with the help of you at home!
[CLIP - Good Morning from Radio6]
Then Legitimately Mallie, a funny and engaging teen/family sitcom about Mallie, the "Know-It-All teenager" who doesn't quite "Know-It-All". Mallie, the classic girl next door, and her two best friends, Ernie and Sophie, hilariously take on real life issues with the finesse of a bull in a China cabinet. There is something for everyone in every episode; an entertaining dilemma and a meaningful lesson.
[CLIP - Legitimately Mallie!]
And finally, in The World to Come, a post-apocalyptic world with no internet or electricity, five disparate factions vie for dominance in the city-state of Fiveboro.
[CLIP - The World to Come]
Right, that's your lot for this week. One last thing that's free is subscribing to our twitter. It's @AudioDramaDebut.