The Cambridge Geek

Audio Drama Debut - Transcript - S01E38

All of the words I said out loud for S01E38 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.

MUSIC - Gentle strings in background.

The Librarian: In the winter months, slight draughts in the Library of Audio Fiction can reach speeds of up to 1km per hour. Accompanied by frequent openings of the door, the temperature can drop as low as "quite nippy". During these cold spots, taking off your jumper is not advised.

Recently, I acquired this recording of one of the Library's staff, who was enduring these difficult conditions, when they became aware of reports of odd noises, unexpected sights and unknown remains. The tape chronicles the strange adventures of one of our bravest, most honourable, most handsome and intelligent members of staff, as they attempted to hunt down the unknown creature that was plaguing the office, while maintaining complete dignity and grace under pressure.

F/X - A tape recorder beginning to play.

The Librarian:It's been three hours! I can't stay under this desk for much longer! When will someone come to save me? What do I... oh, hello there. Quick, get under this desk. Quick, damnit, don't let it see you.

No, don't ask questions, there isn't time. It looks like the Library of Audio Fiction has been invaded by some strange predator, ferocious and terrible, and the only thing keeping me alive is that it hasn't found me under this desk.

I've sent out warnings, flares, phone calls, cries for help and a few other things, and absolutely nobody has come to assist me. It's ridiculous.

And worse than that, I'm also getting hungry. I had some cheesecake ready for my lunch, and it seems like the monster has had it away. Now the only thing to do is..the Director?

The Director: Okay, I'm here, what the hell are you doing?

The Librarian: Hurry, get behind this barricade.

The Director: Certainly not. Now, tell me what on earth is going on here.

The Librarian: There's something loose in the library. There's evidence of it everywhere. Look, there's all these short hairs on everything, these scraps of heavily chewed food. And I think this is someone's tendon.

The Director (aside): Is that a rubber band?

The Librarian: Also, I've heard these strange noises following me around.

The Director: Have you actually seen anything?

The Librarian: No, but all the classic signs are there. Here, I've been listening to these shows to figure out what to look for.

The Director: That's a show about two college friends looking into the disappearance of one of their grandfathers, a show about a journalist following a man on a quest crisscrossing the country and a show about an FBI agent investigating cold...

Oh good grief, that's 3 shows about Cryptids. You've got lost in your own little world again, haven't you? Well, never mind, let's just take you down to the Secretum for a bit. I know double checking the locks on all the forbidden shows calms you down. Just follow me, and...

The Librarian: Look, there! The box, it just moved. I think it's inside it. Here, take this lamp, and I'll grab this... visitor? Sorry, I'd forgotten about you. Look, this is official Library business, so just hide in the corner behind the trailer machine, and listen to some of those to keep your mind off what's going on.

First, in The Lucid Podcast, experience audio stories of dreamlike terror and suspense. LUCID is a narrative podcast that captures the feeling of being suspended in a dream you know you're in but can't escape from. Fashioned in the style of classic radio dramas, this anthology series explores the primal fears of the sympathetically flawed when faced with night terror-like dread, be it supernatural, psychological, or monstrous.

[CLIP - The Lucid Podcast]

The Librarian: Then in Hautingly Humdrum, join 20 artists who have come together in this Halloween season for a daily anthology of 13 slice-of-life tales about Halloween monsters and magic.

[CLIP - Hauntingly Humdrum]

The Librarian: Then, untitled [redacted], which is a surreal horror podcast, bringing you a story of ghosts, memories, and things left forgotten.

[CLIP - untitled [Redacted] ]

The Librarian: And finally, in A Cry in the Moon's Light, a beautiful young woman must travel through a dark forest to be by the side of her dying grandmother. The setting is the late 1700's of Eastern Europe. A mysterious wolf stalks her and a deadly wolf pack tries to kill her. It is a time of castles, muskets, werewolves and other hideous creatures of the night.

[CLIP - A Cry in the Moon's Light]

The Librarian: Right, that's your lot for this week. Now, I suggest you head for the door. I'm just going to open this box...

F/X - box thump.

The Librarian: Argh, it's coming this way, run!

F/X - Frantically retreating footsteps.

The Director: Well, that's one less problem at least. Now, what's in this box.

F/X - Cardboard box being opened.

Oh, hello cutie, come here, let me pick you up.

F/X - Cute mouse squeaking.

There there. Don't worry about the librarian, he's a silly, and the disciplinary measures will sort him out. And for now, let's see if we can find any information about looking after you. Maybe on twitter. Our account is @AudioDramaDebut, though I don't think that'll be much use to you.

F/X - Generally soppy noises.

Oh, and you're still here are you? Don't you remember where the door is?