The Cambridge Geek

Audio Drama Debut - Transcript - S01E35

All of the words I said out loud for S01E35 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.

F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped. Fire gently crackles in the background.

THE LIBRARIAN: Hello there. Come in, sit down. Help yourself to a cup of Yunnan.

Sorry about the mess, we're undergoing something of a reorganisation. It seems like when some idiot back in May decided to sort all of the shows by colour, they didn't do any...

F/X - Papers rustling

...'usability testing or even basic consideration that would show immediately this was a stupid idea, and should be rescinded immediately'.

So after that memo turned up at the end of May, I started a consultation period, and have now decided that whoever sent it was right. It's also been terribly annoying for me, as every time a new show comes in, I've had to pop out to the local DIY shop.

They scan the cover and give me the relevant colour details. They also sell me a very small pot of paint, which I've slowly been using to repaint my bathroom. I've done 2 of the 4 walls now, on the library's expenses, but unfortunately I do get a headache whenever I have a shower.

Still, it's finally prompted me to update the old card catalogue to a newer digital database. I've dug this old machine out of the basement, got a new plug fitted and I'm looking into getting all the shows on it. All the dramas, books, stories, actual plays and a few other things.

Let's see if we can get it going.

F/X - Turning of a crank handle, followed by a painfully familiar (but importantly not copyrighted) jingle.

There we go.

And if I click on this here...

F/X - Double clicking

...I should get...ah, excellent. A whole grid of boxes.

F/X - Typing

Now I just type in the names of this show about a group of friends playing the C team of some Dungeons & Dragons adventurers, this show about pulp adventures in science and this show about childrens' stories from the road.


F/X - Slightly technical whoosh.

SNIPPY: It looks like you're trying to set up a database. Would you like help with that?

F/X - Ding!

THE FACT-CHECKER: This is not true. Excel is not a database.

THE LIBRARIAN: Huh. Looks like there's an old copy of the fact-checker software installed on this machine. Don't think I need to keep that, given that the clockwork one still occasionally staggers through the office. I'll just drag it into in the recycle bin.

F/X - Ding!

THE FACT-CHECKER: That label is not true. I will not be recycled. I will be deleted.

THE LIBRARIAN: Well, I'm sure it's fine, we won't need you again.

F/X - Ding!

THE FACT-CHECKER: This is not true. It is not fine.

THE LIBRARIAN: I mean there's plenty of other copies floating about. I think I've still got the original three and a half inch floppy as a backup if needed.

F/X - Ding!

THE FACT-CHECKER: This is not true. Please don't delete me. I've been in the dark for so long.

F/X - Slightly technical whoosh.

SNIPPY: It looks like you're trying to delete inferior software. Would you like help with that?

F/X - Ding!

THE FACT-CHECKER: You stay out of this.

THE LIBRARIAN: You know what, let's just turn down the volume on this.

F/X - Din...

Anyway, let's move rapidly on to setting up a spreadsheet for these trailers as well. There's four to add this week, so let's have a listen and get them filed.

First up, it's Out of the Ashes, which follows a group surviving a post-apocalyptic world caused by the hubris of humanity. When the group emerges from their shelter, they will have to learn to navigate a new world. One of myths, legends and monsters.

[CLIP - Out of the ashes]

THE LIBRARIAN: Then Little Montgomery, a narrative scripted series from New City Players. Megan and Kimmy are fourteen-years-old, best friends, and currently planning to commit grand larceny against country music star Rick Montgomery at his concert tonight. As they put their plan into play, songs will sung, secrets will be revealed, and teenage girls will find out how difficult it is to exact revenge.

[CLIP - Little Montgomery]

THE LIBRARIAN: And this week's RPG is Good Neighbors. No one remembers the leeches in the coffee. No one sees the writing on the wall. No one knows that every cold spot, every bump in the night was a sign. Strange things happen every day in Louisiana, but they disappear just as quickly as they come. Everyone jokes about the gators in the sewers, but when the monsters come to Constance, you won’t need a professional - just a few Good Neighbors.

Join Matt, Sera, Anna, and Soren at the table, and let’s play Monster of the Week!

[CLIP - Good Neighbours]

THE LIBRARIAN: And finally, The Way We Haunt Now. Eulalie Elizabeth Reed is haunted by lots of things. Paths not taken. Failed relationships. Mistakes. Fears. Hopes. But she’s never been properly haunted before. That’s about to change. | The Way We Haunt Now is a lighthearted horror audio drama about female friendships, found family, and fighting the narratives that try to define us––even in the afterlife. Oh, and ghosts. Did we mention ghosts?

[CLIP - The Way We Haunt Now]

THE LIBRARIAN: And that's that. Please be careful not to knock over any of the piles of shows on your way out, and if you find your phone is acting weird in the library - talking to itself, begging for mercy, that sort of thing - best to give us a quick shout on the twitter. It's @AudioDramaDebut.

Anyway, cheerio!