All of the words I said out loud for S01E34 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped. Fire gently crackles in the background.
THE LIBRARIAN: Hello there. Come in, sit down, don't have time for you to dally by the door today.
Here, take this.
What is it? Have you never seen a microwave mug cake? It's one of the quickest ways to make one. I've not had the time to bake anything more elaborate this week.
Honestly, if it's not been one thing, it's been another. There's been delays, fights, panics, money issues and a few other things.
First, the finance department came round and told me they'd worked out just how few late fees I'd managed to collect. Apparently there's about £750 still owed on loans of fiction from this office. I think they got a tipoff from that nosy reporter.
Then Security told me off for how I was advertising the fiction section. Apparently, you're not allowed to encourage the Brownies to "over enthusiastically" bring their older neighbours to the library. There's not a badge for it.
And I got into an argument with the acquisitions librarian of the non-fiction section at our internal management meeting. Not entirely proud of it, but at least I won. They utterly failed to stop me talking over them. So for now I continue to hold the key to the biscuit cupboard.
But just in case they decide to take the key back anyway, I've hidden it. It's in this carefully nested set of boxes, each one shaped like a key, slightly bigger than the last.
And finally, just as we got to the end of the week, the Director called in sick with a cold. Doesn't stop her sending emails though. I think she's told me off more these past two days than in the rest of the month put together.
F/X - Slightly sinister email ding.
So with all of that, barely had time to do any listening to shows at all. Had to restrict myself to really short ones. Like this one, about a woman who has to kill to stay immortal, or this one about the shutting down of the last moonbase. Or this, about a chap joining the zombie apocalypse.
Luckily though, another thing that's short are trailers, so I've been crunching through a few of those. Here, some for you to listen to.
First, it's Daughters of DC. At Washington DC’s most elite prep school, Jaymes – the tech-savvy daughter of the Speaker of The House – and her best friends Peyton, Natalie, and Celia share their deepest secrets on a private app called DODC. When the girls are hacked by a mysterious figure, they’re thrust into a global conspiracy that threatens to expose DC’s most inﬂuential families.
[CLIP - Daughters of DC]
THE LIBRARIAN: Then, First Action Bureau. The First Action Bureau exists to protect the Earth - near-utopian by 2068 - from criminal elements before they get the chance to act. Using decades of ‘big data’ and globally connected quantum artificial intelligence, the Bureau is able to predict criminal activity before it occurs. Nero Jones may be the best agent the Bureau has, but something strange is going on. Headaches and bizarre dreams are troubling this deadly assassin, and as her missions continue it becomes increasingly clear that all is not well... not just with her, but with the Bureau itself. But where do the lies end? And where does the truth begin?
[CLIP - First Action Bureau]
THE LIBRARIAN: Then, Deconstructive Criticism. This is the podcast where Paul and Allison review all the things they do and don’t need in their lives… But there’s one very important thing they never discuss: Do they need each other?
[CLIP - Deconstructive Criticism]
THE LIBRARIAN: And finally, My Parallel Life. Daniel Jones' perfect life just took a sharp turn for the worse. His parents separated, he has to move to an apartment in the city and go to a PUBLIC school (ugh!) where everyone is a TOTAL SLACKER and no one cares about his high GPA and PRESTIGIOUS WRITING AWARDS, and worst of all, his mom just up and left the country. Daniel is working up a plan to make his life more acceptable, when he discovers a strange door... A door that takes him to a parallel life where his parents hadn't separated.
[CLIP - My Parallel Life]
THE LIBRARIAN: Right, that's your lot for this week. Please don't come back for a week, I really can't fit any more visitors in. If you need to talk to us in the meantime, use the twitter feed. It's @AudioDramaDebut.