All of the words I said out loud for S01E29 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped. Fire gently crackles in the background.
The Librarian: Hello there. Come in, and take a seat. Oh, don't worry about that dictionary, just put it on the floor. Yes, with the other ones. Sorry, it's a bit of a mess this week, as I've involved myself in something of a project.
You see, the contents of the Library of Audio Fiction are somewhat limited by its Librarians. Sure, we've got dramas, books, stories, actual plays and a few other things, but they're all in English. We don't have the capability to seek out and display shows in other languages.
Now, luckily, being British, most people who walk in off the street don't have too much of a problem with that, but it's somewhat limiting. After all, we live in an increasingly interconnected world, and it would be nice to be able to bond over our shared love of fiction.
So I've started looking at finding more international shows. For instance, there's this one about Herr Alexander, a 19th Century magician. Or this one, about Lovecraftian monsters in a small Mexican town. Or this, about a rubbish supervillain with terrible clones.
But that's dependent on us finding them. So I thought I'd also look into translating some of the shows we've currently got into other languages. I've started with this one here, on this rather specialised piece of listening equipment. I'm just doing one of the more climactic scenes, as Captain Spectacular and XJ401 prepare to invade Cubespace. Here, listen to this.
The Librarian as Captain Spectacular (in a very dodgy German accent): Ich mag es nicht. Es ist ruhig. Too ruhig.
The Librarian as XJ401 (with a not very German robot voice): As you know, I have been der odds rechnen Kapitän. Zere is going to be Krieg here. Und soon.
The Librarian (being "normal"): Then there's a couple of sound effects. Think sort of "bank bank".
The Librarian as XJ401 (with a still not very German robot voice): Kapitän! Zey are reinkommen from das Steuerbord. Ein full Geschwader. Es ist ein falle!
The Librarian as Captain Spectacular (in a German accent that hasn't improved since last time): Zis just gets besser und besser.
The Librarian: And then there's the great space battle. Thrilling music, lots of fighting noises, and a fair few explosions. Sounds good, doesn't it?
But for now, it's incomplete, so instead here's these trailers for shows that are finished. I'm sure they can keep you entertained while you wait.
First, the Station Arcadia podcast tells stories from a dystopian world where dieselpunk, steampunk, cyberpunk and solarpunk societies all exist side by side. These diverse stories are told through a radio station on a shifting island, and given voice to by the Station's Host - Kass. Woven through each stand-alone story are threads that come together to tell the story of a revolution, and hope in the face of a dying world. Also, it's queer.
[CLIP - Station Arcadia]
The Librarian: Then Wizard Seeking Wizard, a wizard dating podcast featuring community-submitted wizards and their personal ads where YOU get to vote on who dates who! Hosted by Chemistro the Match Mage and Cupid the Hawk from the depths of their crystal prison.
[CLIP - Wizard Seeking Wizard]
The Librarian: Then, Anyway, What Else? listens in on the lives of four millennials who are approaching breaking point. They have never met, yet they share so much in common. Like reading a diary over the author’s shoulder, these audio journals reveal their confessions, anxieties, loves and losses. Is Jess a date-aholic or just serious about love? Is Lucia a star teacher, or does she give too much? Is Jamie pushing away his boyfriend in the pursuit of an unachievable dream? Is Sandy about to explode? Anyway, What Else will have you laughing, cringing and crying.
[CLIP - Anyway, What Else?]
The Librarian: And finally, CPI (Cryptid Paranormal Investigators) is an Indie-Horror podcast made to simulate early 40's radio shows. This story draws its inspiration of monsters from wide areas of the internet such as The Slender Man, The Rake and many more. Zeke Battson was accused of the murder of his family at the age of 14. Together with the help of his new found friends Francesca and June, they must travel the U.S encountering strange paranormal creatures in hopes of finding the one that murdered Zeke's family.
[CLIP - Cryptid Paranormal Investigators]
The Librarian: Und zat's zat. If you... oh I'm sorry, I'll go back to English if you don't understand. Hope you enjoyed those, and feel free to tell us if you find any more shows. It's @HörspieleDebut. No, no, wait, @AudioDramaDebut.
Anyway, cheerio!