All of the words I said out loud for S01E18 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
SFX - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped. Fire gently crackles in the background.
Hello there. Come in, come in and have a slice of lemon drizzle cake. I'd offer you a seat, but I'm afraid I can't. Unfortunately I failed to lock my office door last night, and they finally succeeded in taking away my visitors chair.
They've been after it for years, claiming it's "not appropriate in today's environment" and "might make people uncomfortable". Maybe so, but dammit that chair's 200 years old. It's a traditional visitor's chair, designed in the early 1800s to give visitors precisely the experience the library thought they should have.
And I've spent so much of my life maintaining it. No one appreciates the effort I've put in, ensuring that the seat spikes remain sharp, and the eye positioners can still grip properly. Those need oiling twice a week!
No, sorry, you can't borrow mine. It's for Librarians only, and I've just got the lumbar support and neck rest in the perfect position. Lovely chair this, brand new this week. State of the art. Oh well, I suppose you can just stand there while you browse for shows to listen to. Perhaps this one, about someone thrown back in time by a military experiment? Or this one about the death of a generally well liked American President? Or perhaps this, about the lotteries of 1940s Chicago?
Well, I suppose it's appropriate on a day in which I find a piece of history thrown out that my visitor might only want the newest of shows. I suppose I can hunt down four trailers for new shows for you. Let's see, what have we got?
This first is The Mystery of Easter Island, a fictionalised account of Katherine Routledge's journey to investigate the statues for which the island is famous.
[CLIP - The Mystery Of Easter Island]
Then there's this, Cockpits!, a podcast about the copilots who work, live and breathe for Serendipity Airlines. An inside look at what really happens behind closed cabin doors. Based very loosely on very true events.
[CLIP - Cockpits!]
Then this week's RPG, Battle Buddies, an actual play D&D podcast in an original setting that focuses on collaborative storytelling, exciting adventures and meaningful friendships!
[CLIP - Battle Buddies]
And finally The Lost Journals, an original horror fiction podcast. Take a journey into the dark realms of demons, the guiding light of Arcangels and a man caught in the middle of a war between Heaven and Hell.
[CLIP - The Lost Journals]
Right, that's your lot for this week. Hopefully next week I'll have something for you to sit on, but until then, be very careful on the way out, as the path to the exit seems to have been flooded slightly. Not sure why, think the pond overflowed. Very strange, given it's been dry. But if you do slip, please address complaints to our twitter account, @AudioDramaDebut.