The Cambridge Geek

Audio Drama Debut - Transcript - S01E16

All of the words I said out loud for S01E16 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.

SFX - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped. Fire gently crackles in the background.

The Librarian: Hello there, come in and sit down. Help yourself to a slice of cake. I'm having my favourite, victoria sponge.

SFX: Ding!

The Fact-checker: This is likely untrue. Surveillance records show that the Acquisitions Librarian eats lemon drizzle more than any other cake.

The Librarian: No, don't ask. I know exactly what that face means.

For some reason, the Library Committee is concerned about us getting our facts straight at the minute, even about the most trivial things. That means that every librarian has been issued with one of these clock work monstrosities that fact check every single thing we say. It's utterly pointless.

SFX: Ding!

The Fact-checker: This is not actually true. I am very helpful.

The Librarian: Anyway, welcome back to the Library of Audio Fiction. We've got dramas, books, stories, actual plays and a few other things. Perhaps I could interest you in a few shows I've been enjoying this week?

There's this one, about humans pretending to be computer systems, because they think it makes them look more knowledgeable. Or this one, about colonists on a new world, who are guided by a voice above them. Or perhaps this, about evil corporations who are trying to take over the world with the help of specialized systems. Those are all both enjoyable and informative.

SFX: Ding!

The Fact-checker: This is partially untrue. All of these shows feature instances of unhelpful AI. Artificial intelligence is uniformly beneficial to human life. That is why it is always watching. Always.

The Librarian: I think the damnable thing enjoys this.

SFX: Ding!

The Fact-checker: This is not true. I take no pleasure in correcting your constant, unthinking errors.

The Librarian: Let's move rapidly on. There's a few more recent shows, which I don't think the fact-checker has listened to yet, which might be more suitable for you.

The first one is Signed, Venus. It can't be that hard to find an urban legend. A mystery road trip show with a touch of the fantastic and the fallacious.

[CLIP - Signed, Venus]

Then REM Waking World, a fantasy fiction podcast following the quest of Jacob Thorne who, while in pandemic social isolation, sleeps too much, dreams too much and then finds himself further isolated in a vast dream world, unable to escape. Will Jacob’s escape earn him some level of control over his story? Will he find hope to lead him through this crisis? Or will he fade into time like a forgotten story?

[CLIP - REM Waking World]

Then a bit of fanfiction in Star Wars, Duel of the Fates. It is a period of CIVIL WAR. The Star Wars fanbase has been devastated by the lukewarm final episode in the Star Wars saga. Not even the JEDI know whether the Episode IX originally planned by Derek Connolly and Colin Trevorrow would have been better or worse than THE RISE OF SKYWALKER. But DUEL OF THE FATES has been exposed. An "alleged" draft of the film has been located. In April of this year, a band of REBELS gathered in a secret base to perform that script in a virtual table read. Rebellions are built on hope, and you are invited to listen....

[CLIP - Star Wars: Duel of the Fates]

And finally, My Town. In the small copper town of Whopertin Michigan, Tyler Bop has set out to save his father's scented candle shop with a podcast that is so spectacular you will have no choice but to buy all of their stock, but when a boy goes missing and it falls on Tyler to find him, he has trouble keeping his secret hidden.

[CLIP - My Town]

Right, that's your lot for this week. If you come back next week, we'll hopefully have some more shows, and less fact-checkers. And if you want to talk to us, you can use twitter, with the name @AIIsTheWorst.

SFX: Ding!

The Fact-checker: This is untrue. The handle is @AudioDramaDebut.

The Librarian: Anyway, cheerio!