The Cambridge Geek

Audio Drama Debut - Transcript - S01E10

All of the words I said out loud for S01E10 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.

SFX - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped.

Hello there. Come...oh. You can't come in. That's the point of this camera that mysteriously arrived in my room.

Wait. Has that been on all this time? Then you might have seen...I feel it is important, at this time of great strife, to state that I, the Acquisitions Librarian, always rewind any single sided tapes before I put them back in the archive.

You know what? This has really thrown me out. Having this big screen with patrons on, looming over me, is very off-putting. Go out, and come back in again. Go on, be off with you.

Unseen voice: Connection ended.

Unseen voice: Establishing connection to the Amble videoconferencing software.

Hello there. Please, point your camera somewhere other than up your nostril. That's better. Now, would you like to join me in a scone? I'm assuming you prepared your own.

No? Well then, you'll have to just watch me. Let's see, this half can have the jam, and this half can have the cream. Now I just need to remember which order I'm meant to eat them in. Ah well, it'll come back to me.

I must say, the more I stare at this camera, the more it brings back memories of the time they tried to make a documentary here. They wanted us to tell stories about the interesting things that happened when we first welcomed people into this Library of Audio Fictio...

Unseen voice: Connection lost.

Unseen voice: Reconnecting.

...chap brought in this box of tapes, each one a different robot story. Utterly ridiculous. Or the one that had loads of different scary stories, which supposedly the internet made? Not sure how, it's mostly cats and porn. . Or one that had stories that finished nearly before they started...

Unseen voice: Connection lost.

Unseen voice: Reconnecting.

...and set about him with a narwhal tusk...

Unseen voice: Connection lost.

Unseen voice: Reconnecting.

...dramas, books, stories, actual plays, and a few other things...

Unseen voice: Connection lost.

Unseen voice: Reconnecting.

...I'm afraid I was very drunk...

Unseen voice: Connection lost.

Unseen voice: Reconnecting.

...and that's where the squirrel came from.

The other problem, of course, is that I can't just hand people the tapes any more. I think you have to just sit there while I...put them in a river? That can't be right. No, wait, here it is, let me check my notes. Apparently I have to stream them. Well, whatever floats your boat, I suppose. There's almost certainly a button for it somewhere. Ah, here we are. Looks like I can flood you with four different shows this week, so best to crack on.

This first one is World of Tomorrow. They say the new millennium began the day Progress was finished. A domed metropolis of the world's greatest minds, a permanent showcase of American ingenuity, built on the swamplands of Central Florida. In this self-styled city of the future, fifty thousand temporary residents, live, work, and occasionally, die.

[CLIP - World of Tomorrow - Murder in Progress]

Then there's The Shelf Life, which is a short-form podcast sitcom about Blue Cat Books, a small independent bookstore in a quaint, American town, and the store’s owner, Edwin Charles, as he deals with the daily nuisance of his customers and neighbors.

[CLIP - The Shelf Life]

And also there's Cassie & Corey, which is a Drum and Bass Musical about Eating Disorders. Corey is fat, in fact he’s massive. It’s the night before his gastric band operation, but he’s too scared to go through with it. He has a better plan. He is going to steal a mobility scooter from the hospital and go and pickup his best friend and recovering anorexic Cassie. They're gonna go to the Brit School for an audition at 9am. They rhyme together. They spit bars together. Together they can do anything. Together they will go on a journey through the South London Night, doing what they do best - making Drum and Bass.

[CLIP - Cassie and Corey]

Finally, there's original fairy tales for the modern day world. Tales From The Aether is an anthology series written by 3x award-winning writer, Jackie Jorgenson, which tells a different three part story each season. Each season also features a trailer and a post-story Q and A episode with cast and crew. The first up is Witch of Rockwood Cove.

[CLIP - Tales from the Aether (Witch of Rockwood Cove)]

Right, that's your lot for this week. Hope you enjoy those, and no sneakily turning on that camera again to try and get more shows. This public library is my private space. Oh and if you happen to find any shows you think we don't have, feel free to send us a message on the twitter. You can probably do it with a full ensemble if you like, no one ever uses all 140 characters. The address is @AudioDramaDebut. Someone monitors it, I'm sure.

Anyway, cheerio!